Silent Nights, Peaceful Minds: A Guide to Mental Health this Christmas

Written By Michelle Fairbrother

While Christmas is often described as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness, for so many of us, it is also a season marked by worry, emotional overwhelm and anticipatory anxiety. 

These experiences are much more common that we may realise:

Increased Stress:

According to a recent survey conducted by Beyond Blue, around 1 in 4 Australians report feeling stressed or overwhelmed during the Christmas season, with the most common reasons being financial pressures, family conflicts, and high expectations contributing significantly to this stress.

Mental Health Struggles:

Another study from Lifeline Australia reveals that nearly 60% of people reported feeling more emotionally distressed or anxious during the holidays. This includes both temporary seasonal distress and exacerbation of existing mental health conditions.  It can be extremely difficult to maintain an emotional and psychological equilibrium when we are bombarded by festive imagery and perfect moments of family unity.

These challenges are often exacerbated by the pressure we feel to balance the internal struggles we face, with the expectations of our friends, family and loved ones.

So what do we do?

It is important to have strategies in place to manage your well-being and navigate Christmas with greater ease and resilience. If you are one of those challenged by the festive season, I have developed an acronym called C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S.

C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S. stands for Check in, Honour Your Boundaries, Reach Out, Incorporate Self Care, Set Realistic Expectations, Treat Yourself, Mindfulness Matters, Accept Imperfection and Social Media usage.  Let’s break these down a little further:

C – Check in with Yourself

Taking time to really notice how you are doing and acknowledging whatever you are reeling, can allow you to self – soothe and look after your own needs.  Christmas can bring a mix of emotions—joy, sadness, loneliness, or anxiety. It's important to recognize and accept how you're feeling without judgment. It's OK not to feel "merry" all the time.

H – Honour your Boundaries

It IS OK to say no!!! Overcommitting to events or obligations can easily lead to burnout. Setting boundaries to protect your mental health supports your nervous system to recover from a very big year and you will notice the difference in your overall wellbeing very quickly.

You can say NO to:

  • Buying gifts, decorations, or edible extras if money is tight or if doing so will bring about feelings of stress or anxiety

  • Going to (or staying at) events where there will be drugs and/or alcohol if you are trying to reduce or stop your use

  • Spending time with people whose attitudes or comments trigger negative feelings in you

  • Hosting at your home if you need the quiet haven of your own space

  • Family - there is often a sense of obligation to be with the family at Christmas which can make it very hard to say NO.  Families are made up of people with different personalities, different viewpoints, different attitudes, different recollections of shared events, and an often-unswayable perception of other people in the group.  This can easily lead to conflict (especially when alcohol is involved). If this sounds like your family, you could consider:

  • Spending only a part of the day with them

  • Spending your get-together before Christmas Day or having a separate place to stay (if available and affordable)

  • Avoid subjects that usually lead to an argument. Change the subject or say “I’d rather not talk about that today.”

  • Monitor your alcohol intake. Alcohol can lower your inhibitions so you may be more likely to say or do something that you would not usually have said or done.

  • Plan to take time out such as a stroll (possibly with the family dog) to walk off lunch.

 

R – Reach Out

A problem shared is often a problem halved - Christmas may trigger deeper feelings of grief, anxiety, or depression, so if you're feeling isolated or overwhelmed, it's essential to talk to someone. Choosing a friend or family member you can truly be yourself with, can offer a huge sense of relief.  However, if this is not possible, reach out to a professional - seeking support is a sign of strength, psychological flexibility and resilience – it is not a weakness.

  

I – Incorporate Self Care

Often our self-care routines and ways of managing stress take a back seat in the upheaval that comes with the festive season. But if you can make the time for the activities that promote your relaxation and well-being, it can support you to maintain a sense of balance and routine that creates stability and predictability in a very overwhelming time.

 

S – Set Realistic Expectations

The holiday season often comes with high expectations around gift-giving, family gatherings, and festive events. Set realistic goals for yourself and let go of the need for perfection. You don’t have to do it all.

 

T – Treat Yourself!

As care givers, mothers and hosts, we often find ourselves giving all of ourselves during the silly season, while our own needs and wants are often disregarded or minimised!  Nobody can nurture and value yourself as well as YOU can – so while it may seem “indulgent”, remember that YOU matter too!  It doesn’t need to be expensive for it to have meaning for you – it may be waking up early one morning, leaving the family and going for a drive to your favourite café with a new book!

 

M - Mindfulness

Mindfulness doesn’t need to look like sitting on a yoga mat chanting “OM” – it is simply any practice which brings you back to the present moment – so if you are watching a movie with your family – notice yourself in that moment, become fully aware of how you are feeling, what everyone else is doing, how you are breathing, sitting and what you are thinking.  The aim is not to change anything but simply to notice and be fully in the moment. Mindfulness techniques have been proven to enhance mental health by promoting self-awareness, self-acceptance and psychological flexibility.

 

A - Acceptance

Accepting how things are, rather than how you would love them to be, is connected to mindfulness.  If you can slow down to notice what you are thinking, feeling and doing, you can create the space (with practice) to “let go” of all your expectations and accept how things really are.

 

S - Social media use at Christmas

While social media can be an important way of staying connected to friends and family, it can also have you comparing yourself to others, spending time scrolling instead of socialising or engaging in self-care. Constantly living in FOMO or FOFO (fear of missing out or fear of finding out) is extremely stressful for our nervous systems which impacts the way we are experiencing the world.

It can be helpful to remember that social media is not an accurate reflection of people’s lives. People only post what they want others to see – if you look at your phone because you’re bored or lonely, your FOMO and feelings of dissatisfaction and isolation increase, along with anxiety, depression and stress.

You may find it helpful to challenge yourself to incorporate some social media breaks at certain times of the day to encourage you to focus on other ways of feeling connected and relaxed.

By focusing on self-compassion and balance, it's possible to navigate the season with greater emotional well-being and peace of mind.

But if you feel you need a bit (or a lot) more support, remember that the following are always available:

Michelle Fairbrother
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Reflection Board Workshop - 17 January 2025